Spectrum

RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR

To use a Dickensian phrase, it's the worst of times; it's the best of times. And, as we traverse along in a society where impulse is given its way, we are increasingly not so willing to grow up. We are growing up, all right, in a way, but only as half-adults. More than that, we are, quite simply, running after our own fantasies, or illusions. Why?

You need not search the horizons for an answer to such dilemmas: a dilemma compounded by perplexity. We are not able to catch up with ourselves. We are often defeated by our own creation -- a simple extension. Its identity? You got it right: speed.

What's more, we've crowds everywhere, and we are almost lost to ourselves, and bored on the basis of a mundane existence. Blame it on the mores of this highly inflationary world, and you've a parody: people seem to look alike. You look like somebody else with the same elements of stresses and tensions; and, "that" somebody looks so much like you.

While our kids are growing up on a TV diet -- their "surrogate" mother/baby-sitter -- we grown-ups are leading a lateral life, catching glimpses out of the corners of our eyes -- not minds. We keep the TV, or the ubiquitous remote control, on, and change channels, or watch the latest sporting event, for the heck of it. Perish the thought whether or not one has had a "feel" of the racquet, or the club, at any level. It's not needed. Just like music. You needn't be a trained musician to appreciate, or write about, music. Thanks to TV, just about everybody who's somebody, even to one's own boss, or wife/husband/soul mate, is an expert on sport, or any other subject -- maybe, even a writer/columnist in his/her own "right." And, why not? This is, after all, the "happening" age, where things just happen as if by birth-write.

It's not that we don't see what's coming out of the side-view mirror. We call such elements intimacy, not proximity or sameness. So, when we see millions like ourselves all over the world, our eyes get focused on the familiar: uniformity, likeness, or resemblance. Not distinction, and difference -- as Indian philosopher Madhvacárya, proponent supreme of Dvaita [Dualist] school of Vedanta, or Immanuel Kant, expounded and "initiated" us to follow, if only we could [provided we are/were not bound by our own prejudices].

It's true that we are all propelled by hope. Hope has always been the long-desired possibility of community life. That's how our modern, mass society has evolved -- a mass society with a gigantic army of rival siblings. But, in today's world, the word sibling is representative of a family, not just a metaphor. Yet, the term holds on its own, bringing into play certain tendencies, habits, and heartaches. The outcome? Grown-up adults regress towards adolescence, and more and more adults prefer not to become adults. Worse still, most of us -- grown up adults -- are too unwilling to imagine any life coming from the vertical plane -- from tradition and religion, devotion and spirituality.

We all agree that only one, or two, section/s of our society has some preponderance to the development of such new sibling qualities. That's exactly the premise of this piece: one that also dwells on the meditations of poet, storyteller, translator, and worldwide lecturer Robert Bly's courageously insightful book, The Sibling Society. But, the rest of us, as Bly puts it, are slowly moving in that direction -- even if we don't fancy that course. The fact of the matter is that we have all "arrived." You know why.

You just can't speak to a person who's not of your age today. S/he won't listen to you. S/he will think that you are not worth listening to, more so if you are not within that "age-frame." It means just one thing: we cannot stop our slide into antediluvian existence. As Bly puts it so succinctly: "Drastic change [has produced] this social primitivism... a new identity is found in embracing a mass movement... [the] mass movement absorbs and assimilates the individual... [who] is thereby reduced to an infantile state, for this is what a new birth really means: to become like a child. And, children are primitive beings -- they are credulous, follow the leader and/or readily become members of the pack... Finally, primitivism also follows when people seek a new identity by plunging into ceaseless action and hustling. It takes leisure to mature. People in a hurry can neither grow nor decay; they are preserved in a state of perpetual puerility."

It's true that the society of half-adults may have advanced far too much in many countries, more so those nations built on technology and affluence. It's catching up fast elsewhere too, and quite rapidly at that. You may also be a part of such a revolution already. If you aren't one, it's time you joined. So, what are you waiting for? Just register; and, just do it. Only then will you be able to savour some of its characteristics -- or, peculiarities. Here goes -- of what it all really means:

It is a formidable proposition, today, to decide what's real. Because, a sibling society participates in a plethora of "non-events," but events, all the same -- like a beauty pageant everyday; or, a truly "democratic" film awards ceremony, or a listless TV serial as a family get-together. Such an excursion is au fiat in our society -- something that no one really objects to. It is a sort of trance, induced without hypnosis. Just think of it. You watch two events -- a live, and a replay -- simultaneously. You may call such a foray, which we are all so adept at imposing on ourselves, to quote Bly, as contemporary primitivism, or "participative mystique."

You also have "baptism" of water, not fire, in every aspect of life. For example: A launch of a new book, by a writer, whose only qualification is not writing talent, but celebrity status. Or, a singing debut, at the proverbial drop of a hat. The assortment of views, on such an occasion, is universal. Tons of praise for the "artist" who has "learned," and in some cases, even "mastered," his/her art -- of what otherwise would take more than eight to ten years, or a lifetime, to achieve -- in a year or two… That is genius, of course! The plaudits are "well-channelled," because the "compere" is paid for it!

To draw another parallel. Imagine the glut of "dance" enthusiasts, who now dance -- because, you just can't address it by its name -- and, yet don't have even a smattering of classical music! The key is, of course, wanton self-promotion -- not search within. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, yes. But, it's the in-thing today -- because, there are no standards!

Purists, in every field, who have spent years honing their skills with all their modesty, think of it all as blasphemy, or arrogance, but the devil-may-care-attitude of fly-by-day/night "charlatans" has little time for such definitions! Quality takes time, and devotion, or fidelity. Art, or any creative pursuit, cannot be a part-time, or fill-in-your-ego-slot, occupation. But, who cares -- more so, because no one has time in our present dispensation.

To recall a metaphor, a Zen gem: to illustrate the real essence of the parable. Tozan once said to his monks: "You should know there is an even higher understanding in Buddhism." A monk stepped forward, and asked: "What is the higher Buddhism?" Tozan answered: "It is not Buddha." Or, to paraphrase another allegory: "Knowledge is proud, because she knows so much; wisdom is humble, that she knows no more."

Back again! Most jaunts, or non-events, therefore, have, inextricably, become a part of our psyche -- a regular global feature. Add to that TV, and the Internet, and you've a host of contests, with prizes/gifts. Maybe, it's pretty hard for some of us to get away from envy when we look at the TV razzamatazz… So, we often go for someone else's jugular. It could be Bill Clinton and his individualistic faults -- or, one of those home-bred celebrity politicians with a "flashy" lifestyle, or even a celebrity. And, there are too many of them, out there, waiting or in-waiting. You could pick and choose [or, vice versa], your own "trump card" -- for a good copy -- even if you don't belong to the tabloid press.

Too bad? Maybe. But, that's the way it is. Because, it's too hard to be as popular as you are supposed to be. You know why. Sigmund Freud's super-ego, or Interior Judge, has altered its requirements, in our age -- and, we just can't do a thing about it. Freud's "benchmark" today is also insistent on early success, at age twenty-two, or twenty-five. It has changed our perceptions, and made our youth quite haughty: too proud to stand on somebody else's legs -- if not their own. So much so, they are just firing on all cylinders, and trying to attain instant fame -- not excellence. Nothing wrong with that -- or, so you thought? You maybe right!

Picture this. In the past, our conduct was dictated by one primal motif: obedience to parents, sexual "purity," and high morals. The super-ego, today, with some exceptions, no longer has a Mahatma Gandhi, or Jesse Owens, or Jack Nicklaus, to hold its "bearings." The focus, instead, is on a celebrity crooner, or scantily-clad movie stars, and models in several "adverteasements," and TV serials/soap operas. Not that it's all bad -- a sort of "spiritual pollution." It's a major paradigm-shift, out there. Dangerous, too. Because, for one who isn't, or doesn't become, successful, and well-loved, punishment today is swift and ruthless. When that happens -- God forbid -- self-esteem receives a battering from inside.

Soon, you make it to a TV talk show and, bare it all. And, thereafter? Dud, not viola! Bly again puts the "imbroglio" in perspective. He says that furious competition of peers or siblings has led to a new "template:" strive not to be good or great, but to be famous, or rich, because our community has been supplanted by TV, and entertainment. So, he asks a valid question: "Where have all the grown-ups gone?" Grown ups who inculcate the value of good reading in their kids, and themselves, spend some time with them at the dinner table, with the TV switched off, or share a thought or two in their problems and pleasures.

Not that all adults need dazzling breadth and insight -- to inspire, console, enlighten, and renew understanding, or have the capacity to transform the world. Far from it. What we need today is an expression. As philosopher J Krishnamurti put it so perceptively: "When you live everyday with what is and observe what is, not only out there but inwardly, then you will create a society that will be without conflict." It is a tall order, yes -- but, not impossible.

This also, in more ways than one, sums up a responsibility -- an important call for the rediscovery of our adulthood. Of an adulthood that is strong enough to approach our children, and teach them what to stand up for -- or, what to go along with -- in a world that's gone increasingly mad.