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RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR
It would be too superfluous to say
that the cause of civility enjoys token lip-service. In fact,
impoliteness, or even rudeness, has become a badge of individual
growth.
Get into the first-class compartment of any Mumbai
local train, and you will know. You have smart, tie-sporting,
sweaty executives, and most wear more than a sheen of arrogance
-- the "we've-beaten-the-world" gloss. What next?
Read on…
This does not mean that the fight
for civility is lost. Because, we've been bogged down by an
abrasive, a sort of in-your-face, hostility that prevails
from the boardroom to the inter-state highway? Hold your breath.
For the simple reason that some sense of reserve on the part
of the mannered is understandable.
Richard Brookhiser's Rules Of Civility, celebrates
George Washington's greatness, and brings home the legend's
greatness like no other inspirational work: of rules which address
not only the proper ways of civil life, but also of a morally
responsible life. The book embellishes 110 precepts that guided
America's first President in both war and peace. Washington,
as a matter of fact, dutifully copied the rules -- as a schoolboy.
He was, understandably, wise. He kept them with him throughout
his life.
Although Washington was a self-contained figure, well known
for his ferocious temper, it goes without saying that several
of his own rules may have helped him to rein in his furies.
For instance: "In reproving, show no sign of choler,"
and "When you deliver a matter, do it without passion."
Alternatively, take a look at Washington's true greatness
too -- something that flowed, in part, from his high regard
for a civilised code of behaviour. Rule 1: "Every action
done in company ought to be done with some sign of respect
to those that are present." Rule 110: "Labour to
keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire
called conscience."
Agreed that a host of these rules maybe quaint irrelevancies
today, for many, but surely not for everybody on the living
planet. Because, some of the rules -- more so, those related
to table manners -- don't change? You bet. They apply as practically
now as they did in Washington's time, except that a Laloo
Prasad Yadav would most likely scoff at some of the rules
Washington jotted down in his notebook:
- Cleanse not
your teeth with the table-cloth
- Rinse not your mouth in the presence
of others
- Do not laugh too loud, or too much at
a public spectacle
- Spit not into the fire
- Put not off your clothes in the
presence of others
- Don't scratch your privates in public
- When in company, put not your hands
to any part of the body not usually discovered.
All these rules will be violated by the
time you are through reading them, especially in as stressful
and uncivil a time as we live in today -- when people expose
their navels and neuroses on tacky TV shows, cricketers swear
at umpires, and celebrities rap cameramen.
So, we do need more rules to live by! Here are a few more -- all rules for civility
in day-to-day life, modified to the times, and for others'
convenience.
- Use not the cell phone in a public
place
- Never keep your 'phone line on hold
without apologising profusely
- Don't spread your stuff over the
empty seat next to you on the bus/train/airplane
- Keep your cold to yourself. Don't
spread it around
- When on an airplane/bus/movies,
remember one thing. Only one armrest is yours
- If you want to mess up your life,
just do it. But, not at somebody else's expense
- If you must wear not-too-decent clothes,
don't look at yourself in the mirror. Or, if you would rather
be civil to yourself
- When in the train/bus/movies, move
your legs so others may pass in front of you without
"stamping" your feet
- Don't yell at the TV. The people on
the screen cannot hear you
- Let not your child run amuck.
So, there you are -- with one to
suit your temperament and personality. Or, maybe, you could
do something even better. Just add on a few more "novel" rules
to the list. The more, the merrier!
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